Category Archives: emotion

Rogue Moon

“There’re all kinds of people in this world.  But they break down into two main groups, one big and one smaller.  There’s the people who get moved out of the way or into line, and then there’s the people who do the moving.  It’s safer and a lot more comfortable to go where you’re pushed.  You con’t take any of the responsibility, and if you do what you’re told , every once in a while you get thrown a fish.  Being a mover isn’t safe, because you may be headed for a hole, and it isn’t comfortable because you do a lot of jostling back and forth, and what’s more, it’s up to you to find your own fish.  But it’s a hell of a lot of fun.”

Algis Burdys / Rogue Moon

Showing Off

One of the reasons I find writing so difficult is that I don’t like showing off.  I always wonder if there’s some long forgotten incident from my childhood where I was showing off and the whole room laughed. I don’t recall anything, but I have a deep distaste that means I don’t like asking for attention.

So far I haven’t promoted this blog in any real way.  I’ve told one person.  He suggested I tweet the posts when they went up, since I have a few Twitter followers.  I quickly agreed – that sounded like the right thing to do if I wanted to get more people reading.

Of course I haven’t.  Right now I’m focussing on writing.  Maybe once I get past the fear of blogging I can work on the fear of promoting.

As a guy who runs a business, I don’t do nearly as much work talking myself up as other business owners do.  Maybe we would grow faster as a company if I did, but despite being a huge extrovert, I suddenly turn bashful when it comes time to brag a little.

We certainly have lots to brag about.  We build cool products, do good work, have a reasonably sustainable business, etc.  I’m living the dream, but I’m fighting my instincts right now – I want to go back and delete that last sentence so badly.

For today, I’m leaving it here.  And for today, that’s enough.

I Like Uphill Battles

I just finished playing Artemis with a group of friends.  It’s a spaceship bridge simulator – basically the computerized equivalent of the game of make believe every nerdy child played after watching an episode of Star Trek.  Six people man different stations and coordinate amongst themselves to stop an alien invasion.

I don’t really like video games, but I love Artemis.

Often I play ‘Captain’ when we play.  That means I don’t even have a computer in front of me.  Rather, I ask questions, make tactical decisions, issue orders, and act as a coordinator to the rest of the team. The other parts are fun too, but what I really like to do is turn up the difficulty, select the most outclassed ship in the game, and try to lead a team through it.

What I’ve found is that I like uphill battles.  When mopping up the enemy is just a matter of going through the motions I get bored.  Even when it’s tight but winnable, it feel too easy.  I need the game to be downright impossible.  My own personal Kobiashi Maru.

I often find I have to be almost certain I’ll lose for something to be worth trying at all.  I’m attracted to big risks, and I suppose the corresponding big rewards.  To get any of those rewards, you have to be willing to eat certain failure an awful lot.

If the past couple years of running Whole Punk have taught me anything, it’s that there’s a kind of joy in resiliency.  I don’t like failing, but I like fighting to win, and I like standing up again after I fall.

I’m certainly not the only person I know like that.  So many of my favourite friends are the ones who try big things and get back on the horse with a grin, no matter how back they hit the dirt.  I admire people who play life on hard mode.